


Licking and Quitting

by cherrieperrie



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Group chat, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, and luke has a foot fetish, basically this band has the biggest love/hate relationship possible, calum quits the band, i finally decided to do one of these, malum, michael is abandoned at the end as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2012727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrieperrie/pseuds/cherrieperrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>michael: do u think if i licked calum he’d be okay with it</p><p>calum: im right here you dinglehopper and no i would not be okay with it</p><p>calum: keep your tongue away from me please and thank you</p><p>luke: i want to be licked </p><p>luke: michael im covered in panda express please come into my room</p><p>michael: im on my way bye calum have fun being unlicked</p>
            </blockquote>





	Licking and Quitting

**Author's Note:**

> So this just randomly happened and I've been wanting to do one of these for so long, so, here you go.

**michael** : do u think if i licked calum he’d be okay with it

 **calum** : im right here you dinglehopper and no i would not be okay with it

 **calum** : keep your tongue away from me please and thank you

 **luke** : i want to be licked

 **luke** : michael im covered in panda express please come into my room

 **michael** : im on my way bye calum have fun being unlicked

 **ashton** : why are you guys talking about licking each other

 **ashton** : i thought we agreed that licking was illegal in this band

 **calum** : what should be illegal in this band is michael clifford

 **michael** : shut up column

 **calum** : YOU DIDNT JUST GO THERE YOU ABSOLUTE TWURD

 **ashton** : what the fuck is a twurd are you guys ok

 **ashton** : wheres luke

 **luke** : hola como estas

 **luke** : i have returned from the netherlands of ashton’s anatomy

 **calum** : first of all it is netherworld and second of all if youre giving ashton a blowjob how come hes texting and asking where you are

 **ashton** : listen here you pretzel he was talking about my feet

 **michael** : can we have sex

 **calum** : why was luke near your feet and how did you not know he was there

 **luke** : the secrets out guys i have a foot fetish

 **michael** : are you saying that you are legitimately turned on by feet and you have never told us

 **calum** : i want a foot fetish where can i get one

 **michael** : ask luke apparently he has one

 **ashton** : why are you guys talking about my boyfriends kinks

 **luke** : so i was lonely last night and you guys were sleeping so i went downstairs and had a conversation with myself and let me tell you it was the most important thing i have ever done

 **ashton** : excuse me i thought the most important youve ever done was me

 **michael** : one time calum and i made a bet on who tops in your relationship and i won on ashton because no top has a foot fetish

 **luke** : you didnt even know i had that back then meekle shut up

 **michael** : the fuck did you just call me

 **calum** : is that a pet name i should know about

 **calum** : luke what did you talk with yourself about i am interested to know

 **luke** : it was about how much this band sucks and i secretly hate all of you

 **luke** : also we have fifth member in the band who is slowly dying

 **ashton** : i thought i told you to throw that penguin away three weeks ago luke its stuffing is coming out like lava from a volcano or ejaculatory fluid from calums dick

 **calum** : excuse me why are we talking about my dick now

 **calum** : we can’t possibly speak about it guys its too long of a topic

 **calum** : lol see what i did there

 **calum** : guys

 **calum** : guys where have you gone

 **ashton** : we’re searching for your microscopic dick which is nowhere to be seen

 **michael** : can we have sex

 **calum** : luke im with you this band sucks

 **calum** : also who is the fifth member thats on death row

 **luke** : michaels hair

 **michael** : ha

 **michael** : ha hA HAHA

 **michael** : shut up you twurd

 **calum** : excuse me did i give you the right to use my terminology freely in this conversation

 **calum** : this band is full of nothing but thieves and i hate you all

 **luke** : yeah guys wheres my lip gloss

 **luke** : cough it up i know one of you twurds have it

 **calum** : STOP USinG my WOrd YOu SwinEs

 **michael** : can we have sex

 **ashton** : michael that is the third time you have asked that and the answer is no

 **michael** : why not at least my dick is not microscopic like calums

 **calum** : that’s IT IM LEAVING THE BAND GOODBYE

 **ashton** : do you guys actually think he’s going to do it

 **luke** : do what

 **michael** : do you think calum will have sex with me if i apologize to him

 **calum** : no

 **michael** : HA YOURE BACK

 **ashton** : i changed my mind michael i will have sex with you

 **michael** : why

 **ashton** : im bored of luke

 **luke** : well im bored of you too daddy

 **luke** : thats why i put on those lacy pink panties you bought me from victorias secret

 **ashton** : what

 **ashton** : michael i have to cancel i am so sorry

 **michael** : i hate you all calum will you have sex with me

 **michael** : totally platonic and manly sex

 **michael** : i wont even lick you if you dont want me to

 **michael** :

 **michael** : calum

 **michael** : calum where are you

 **michael** : wait did u really quit the band

 **michael** : what about all weve been through together

 **michael** : CALUM ANSWER ME

 **michael** : fuck you all im quitting too


End file.
